Saturday, November 29, 2008

Thanks be to God and Bah Humbug!

Let us continue to give thanks to GOD for the light we can see ahead.  We have less than two more months to suffer George W. Bush and the evil he has perpetrated upon the world.  

As we move into the Xmas season let us remember what the meaning of Xmas is:  Great deals on electronics and trying to buy the love of those you don't really want to show real love to.

You, know early Christians never celebrated Xmas and it is a recent creation in order for retailers to make a shitload of cash by guilting people with sentimental ads.  

Say it out loud:  Xmas has NOTHING to do with Jesus Christ or with God's plan for salvation.  It is completely trumped up worthless holiday.  If you want to show someone love or give them a gift, go ahead and DO IT!  You don't have to wait for some stupid, phony celebration next to a dead tree that will never be used to warm your home, create a home for birds or give shade to someone like Jonah (read the book and you'll understand).

If you do decide to follow the world and not the Lord just be careful not 
trample anyone to death  or shoot anyone in the spirit of the season.

Xmas must be Satan's favorite holiday.  Isn't that the reason everyone wears red?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

America is NOT a Christian Nation

I really hate when politicians and preachers proclaim that America is a Christian nation.  It's not. In fact, America is far from a Christian nation because if Jesus ran a nation he'd heal and feed its citizens, he'd show kindness to aliens (illegal or otherwise), he'd instruct the rich to give back to the poor and he'd put an end to the military industrial complex, the prison industrial complex and the war on drugs. 

Jesus never even lived to be old enough to be President.  He never held any public office or official title.  And if he were here today nobody would be pushing for him to run for office.  They'd be looking for ways to imprison and execute him, just like they did 2,000 years ago.

In the coming weeks, I will be giving specific examples, with corresponding scriptures, of the reasons America is not a Christian nation and never was.


Monday, November 17, 2008

Just remember: NO DANCING!

There's an old joke about a Baptist minister and his wife working together in their church.  As the day went on, they were having a great time together and things started to get a bit amorous.  The pastor was kissing his wife and things started to get hot and heavy.  He pressed her against the wall after removing some clothes started to make love to her standing up.  She was quite worried about getting caught by someone but he assured her it was OK because they were married.  She then said, "I know, but I just hope they don't think we're dancing".

Rev. Ed Young from Dallas is getting a lot of press this week because he came out with a challenge to his parishioners: have sex with your spouse for seven days straight.  What a great fucking idea! (no pun intended).    Read it here.

I think pastors all over the country, all over the world should follow Rev. Young's idea.  If there is a problem in the church, it's not enough Christians are having nasty, dirty, sweaty sex.  Maybe if they were having more, they wouldn't have to worry so much about what their neighbor is doing and who they are having sex with.


I am going to follow the good Rev's advice and encourage the little woman to do the nasty every night this week.  "We're doing it for the Lord", I'll tell her.  I'll tell her I'll probably be in a better mood and I'll want to turn off the TV and help with the dishes.  I'll want to buy her things, massage her feet and write her poetry.  

Since we're going to be getting at it almost constantly I've been looking up some new positions. I think we're going to try some cowgirl, butterfly, scissors, doggy, missionary (of course) and maybe a just experiment. Here are some ideas.

However, no matter what my wife does or promises to do I already told her that under NO circumstances will there be any dancing.  That would be wrong.

Monday, November 10, 2008

MMA in the Holy Land

I've never been to the "Holy" Land and I really don't care to go.  People over there are crazy and they fight over the stupidest shit imaginable.  A bunch of monks got in a brawl because on group wanted to march around the supposed tomb of Jesus and the others wouldn't let them unless they were included.  Hey guys, Jesus ain't there!  He is risen!  I don't know if anyone told you this.  I guess this is what happens when you aren't getting any pussy and you have to chant all day.

Let me add that all this veneration of Israel and these Middle Eastern countries smacks to me of idolatry.  I don't know what people hold sacred over there but it sure isn't GOD.  They are fighting over dirt and ancient traditions that probably were made up by some swindler in the Middle Ages.  That land is no more holy than shittiest piece of land in some of the most war torn countries in the world.  Oh wait, that is shitty land in some war torn country.  

If Jesus had his way, his blood would have been the last ever shed on that good for nothing dirt. Unfortunately, His supposed followers have never been good at doing things Jesus' Way.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Fudge packers and carpet munchers protest normal marriage

Since Proposition 8 passed in California, the gay community has acted like a bunch of whiny bitches complaining that they are being discriminated against and going on gay parades all over the state. Read about it here.

Whatever.  The electorate has spoken and your little get togethers are not going to change that, at least not this year.  What they are going to do, however, is create a backlash from "normal" people and next time they have an issue on the ballot it's going to lose by twice as much.  Plus, the religious right is going to ride this issue in order to do some fund raising and create more converts. 
Give us some money.

So, all you gays out there, quit your bitchin'.  You lost.  Now bend over and take it like a man.  Or a straight woman.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Nutjobs never sleep.

"Christian" cult leader James Dobson's Focus on the (white suburban) Family is already trying to cash in on Barack Obama being elected President of the United States.  Not waiting to even let him serve one day in office, they have started attacking him in a fundraising email and are already comparing him to the Nazis. Info here.

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Barack Obama is a Christian.  He has elucidated his faith in Jesus Christ many times over.  Just because he does not accept your narrow, strident and WRONG interpretation of Christianity does not mean that his faith in Jesus Christ is lacking in any way.  And even though Dobson is "grieving" for the  our country,  he offers NO repentance for his support of the Bush Administration, an Administration that has done more to undermine the greatness of America than all of our enemies could ever have hoped to do.  His pathetic take on the election is  here.

The attacks of FOTF do not in any way make me question Barack Obama's faith in God.  It only makes me question what FOTF really believes in.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Eliot Spitzer for Attorney General!!

So the former Governor of New York State will not be charged with anything after he was found to be cavorting with prostitutes.  Story here.  That's good.  The man repented and asked his wife's forgiveness and resigned from his job.  That's enough.

I believe in redemption.  Eliot Spitzer did a great job weeding out evil doers on Wall Street during his time as Attorney General of New York.  Now the country needs someone to do the same.  I think he's the perfect man for the job.

President Elect Obama, please pray about it and then appoint Mr. Spitzer as your next Attorney General.  

Show the world how forgiveness works.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

THE END IS NEAR!!

So America has chosen to elect  THE ONE.  Now that Barack Obama has been elected President there are people out there who fear he is the Antichrist.  Really.  Read here.  

In fact, there has even been a surge reported from Google for the keyword "antichrist" since Obama's election. 

Now I don't know anyone who thinks Obama is the Antichrist but a friend of mine spoke to his sister and she told him she thinks Obama's the antichrist.  So I know someone who knows someone who does.  Of course, I also know someone who knows someone who's uncle's friend rode in a spaceship and knows for a fact that Obama is really the son of space aliens because you will note none of his parents are living.  You never know.

But if Obama's the Antichrist, I have to say that probably not altogether a bad thing.  It means he is going to bring peace and prosperity and it means that the Lord is coming soon and this wicked world is short on time.  

Thank GOD.  I really was not looking forward to Sarah Palin running for President in 2012.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Love is stronger than death.

I don't know what it is about homosexuals that scare fundamentalists so much.  According to Tony Perkins, head of the Family Resource Council, the MOST important issue on the ballot this week is Proposition 8 in California. It's more important than the Presidential election, he says.      Read it here.

Now, I don't what he's been doing but after the last four years but I think the Presidential election is pretty damn important.  George W. Bush has been a disaster for American and religious hacks like Perkins wholeheartedly supported him in 2000 and 2004.  Now that it looks like they'll lose their White House guest passes, they figure the Presidential election is not really that big of a deal.

I have to wonder if any of the thousands of families who lost love ones serving this country in Iraq and Afghanistan think a couple of gay caballeros shacking up and calling it marriage is the most important thing on the ballot.  I wonder if the hundreds of thousands of people put out of work this year think gay marriage is the most important thing they will voting on.  Or how about those millions of people who do not have any form of health insurance?  Do they really care about what whether homosexuals call their unions "civil union" or "marriage"?  Because that's all this issue is about: what we call it.  Both sides of this issue are wrong and it's a waste of taxpayer time and money.  It's also distracting from things that really matter.

There are life and death issues that we need to deal with on a National level and which direction this country goes in depends on this election.  But Tony Perkins, James Dobson and the rest of those who deal in religious fear mongering think that the most important thing we have to deal with is what we call it when two people of the same sex decide to love one another. It's pathetic.  

Perhaps these guys don't know that you're never going to change people through the law.  Read Romans.

You change people through love.  They need to love the gays just a little bit more.  Although if they did that, it's possible that they might just like it a little too much.  Maybe that's what's scaring them.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Crazy Shit Happens When Religion Rules

Remember how when Sarah Palin ran the city government in Wasilla, AK they started charging women for their rape kits?  Read about it here.  

Well, the religious right in Somalia has found an easier way: stoning rape victims to death.  Yep. In front of a stadium of more than a 1000 people, a group of men stoned a 13 year old girl, who was raped, to death because they said she was guilty of adultery. Read the whole sad story here. 

I know these were Islamic fundamentalists perpetrating this evil but the punishment for adultery according to the Holy Bible is stoning (Duet. 22:22).  And since this is a Christian nation according to Christian Right, it only follows that we should follow the tenets of the Bible.  To hell with the Constitution, right?  Just think of the money we could make on concessions at these public executions!

Now Jesus, were he here today, would probably be against it.    He always seemed to have a way of screwing up a good stoning (John 8:3-11) and messing with capitalism (Mark 11:15-18). 

Damn liberal.